


Don't Let Me Go

by FabelHaft



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-26
Updated: 2015-01-30
Packaged: 2018-02-27 02:25:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,361
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2675480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FabelHaft/pseuds/FabelHaft
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A particular SVU case has the team in sleepless nights. When the suspect becomes rogue, Rafael Barba is hospitalized. </p>
<p>Nick Amaro is struggling the most to deal the possible death of his most intimate confidant.  </p>
<p>Will Barba wake up in time? </p>
<p>Or will this case be the team's last together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Rafael Barba POV

"If the case gets prolonged anymore, we'll lose it. He could walk away." Amanda informed us.

"We can't let that happen, the bastard's a psychopath. 'I raped her' is written all over his face." Stated Amaro.

Liv shook her head, "Yeah, but there is not enough solid evidence to convict him, or even hold him, which we already did." 

"Damn it." Nick slammed his fists to the table, waking Liv, but the rest were to tired to react.

I turned my head to examine him. He was exhausted, his energy being drawn out till it's end. In fact, the posture of the whole group, including myself, was overwhelming. We might lose this case.

I flipped through the case file in my hand my for hundredth time. It was the same information, yet it was like I expected something to change. Jacob Swanson, a mid-twenties male, accused of raping Claire Morrow, nineteen year old college girl. 

No hard evidence. 

We were able to interrogate him once before, but all we got was him refusing to know of any contact with her. Then his grandmother barged into the office demanding the release of her grandchild, for reasons she exclaimed personal. After that, nothing. We need to talk to him, but we couldn't hold him.

I walked over to the table under a window where my coffee laid. This is my fourth cup this morning alone, yet I still don't have the energy to think this one through. 

My eyes scanned the outside from the window as my lips met the edge of the cup and the familiar taste of caffeine appeased me. Through the window, I noticed someone was pacing outside the building.

"Counselor, whatcha watching out there," Fin's comment made me jump slightly. I brushed it off hoping it went unnoticed.

"I, don't know yet." 

I yawned, looking down at the coffee in disappointment, setting the cup back on the table.

Nick cocked his head before walking towards me and the window, Fin shortly followed.

"I think that's our guy, Swanson." Fin pointed out. 

"Then I'll invite him inside, for a talk." I made the rash decision as I began walking out of the office. 

My arm was roughly grabbed by Nick, "You can't go out there, we don't know why he's out there in the first place." 

Not one of us dared to move for a solid minute and a half, staring dead into each other's eyes.

"That's what I intend to find out," I looked down at my arm. "Now, are we having a moment or will you let my arm go." 

He evidently let go, though very hesitantly. If he hadn't, he would have shown the whole office an intense moment that wouldn't have ended if it continued. A bit of out private lives would have been revealed. 

"Thank you." 

I briskly walked from the office to the elevator. I straightened my jacket once I pressed the button for the first floor. Soon, right before the doors could have crushed him, the one and only Nick Amaro slid thought the doors to stand by my side.

"I wasn't going to let you go alone. The others said they would follow shortly behind, but stay inside." 

I turned my head to him. "Gracias, Amaro." I looked down as a million thoughts ran through my head at once, "good to know you care."

We were silent, so the only sound one could hear would be the sound of the elevator beeping past each floor. When the elevator stopped and the door opened, Nick allowed me to walk in front of him; he followed close behind. 

Jacob hadn't seen us coming up to him, he remained pacing around the same spot. Nick agreed to stay a bit behind and let me do the talking.

"Morning Mr. Swanson, is there something I could help you with." I said, adjusting my suit once again.

He jumped slightly at the sound of my voice. 

"What? I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here, but we need to talk." he muttered, his whole body shaking. His tone was almost like a scared child, kind of like the first time we talked to him, but more fearful now.

"We can talk inside, it's much warmer too," I tried to please him with a smile, but he kept a distance face. 

"What's your name," he asked.

"ADA, Rafael Barba." I put my hand out for him to shake, but he just stood there. 

His posture had straightened out and he was watching every inch of me, ever since he heard my name. 

"Would you like to go inside now." I asked. 

He only nodded and took a step then another. I nodded for Nick to walk ahead. He agreed but kept his hand to his side, over his gun. 

"I'm sorry," he whispered enough for me to barely hear him. 

I threw my attention to him, but in less than a second I could see his arm rushing towards my face, an object in his hands. 

I lost balance and soon my head impacted with the cold cement, making the pain from the hit worse. 

I groaned, but, seeing this guy still coming, I tried to get up, only being knock back down. 

"Nick!" I screamed. 

The pain, streaming in my body, worsened by the second, by each hit. I could feel the blood dripping down from different places on my skull, and my vision became blurry. 

The pressure of his big figure on top of mine lessened. I struggled to lift my head up to see the area around me. With my blurred vision, I could barely see Amaro attempting to hold back Swanson. They were both struggling hard against each other. 

As I tried to move, I threw my head back down, holding it with both my hands. A loud ringing made me feel faint and unable to hear, and I felt the pain worsen by thousands in my abdomen. By instinct, I set a hand down on there, feeling a wet, warm, thick liquid instead of my expected silk shirt.

I struggled to see, vision in one eye regained but fading to the sun. Looking down at my shirt, I see red; blood everywhere. 

I've been shot. 

From the corner of my eye, the one able, Nick was running towards me, The suspect being held down by police officers in the area, and other were running towards the scene; some on phones.

"Call 911!" 

The need to close my eyes was overwhelming. I was deciding whether to just let them shut, or fight to keep them open; I was between the two. My head constantly fighting to not limb to the side. 

"Rafi, hey stay with me." I hadn't noticed Nick by my side so quick. He tried to hold my head up.

"Ugh." I groaned.

He set my head back down, which moved my abdomen. "argh!" I practically screamed in pain, then it was fading. 

"Nick, I'm cold." I whined, my breath shortening.

"It's the weather, don't overreact," he said casually, putting pressure on my wound. 

"Then why is it starting to feel numb this time," I almost couldn't finish the sentence without gasping for more air. 

"That's not a good sign, just keep talking to me, come one." his voice rigid. 

I could hear sirens in the distance, but everything around me was starting to fade. The screams and sirens became a background noise. The lights and sun slowly looking dim and my attention drawn away from the pain. Nick's voice stood out from the rest. 

"Come on!" He yelled, applying more pressure to my abdomen. 

Soon, I couldn't feel anything but cold hands carrying me off the floor, but I squeezed on Nick's shirt right before I didn't have the energy to hold on to anything anymore. 

The brights lights of the ambulance inside were blinding. The medics asking questions, talking around me, but I was numb to everything. 

Then, I couldn't, any longer, stay awake. 

The last thing I saw before slipping into an all needing sleep was Nick, held back by Liv and Fin.

All at once, I gave into the darkness and fell unconscious.


	2. Chapter 2

Nick Amaro POV

They held my arms back, but I didn't know exactly who. I pull and struggled to get out of their grip until I saw Rafi's face fade into unconsciousness as they slammed the door of the ambulance shut.

My fight to be released was gone. I had gave in, and they let go of their hold slowly. 

I- I just watched him get shot and I should have been able to prevent it. I, of all people, should have stopped that damn suspect! It's because of me, he's on his way to the hospital. 

My eyes were conveniently focused on the one spot on the floor where Rafael's blood stained the wet cement. 

"Hey, you okay?" Olivia's voice was startling.

I couldn't speak. In the midst of turning to her, the corner of my eye caught a bright coloring on my hand. Looking down for what I saw, was my hand covered in blood; Rafael's blood. 

He's in shock

He needs to be interrogated

Poor thing

What happened 

Blood everywhere, he might not live

Everyone speaking all at once as if I couldn't hear their whispers. My blood was practically boiling inside. They don't know the truth, but in reality, neither do I. Rafael needs justice. 

The crowd that formed in the chaos of this morning was trying to get around the other officers putting up tape, wanting to know what happened.

It was like something snapped in my head, because I jumped slightly, needing to push one foot back for balance.

Olivia followed me, trying to get my attention, as I pushed past each person to the police vehicle where Swanson sat in. I hit the window with the palm of my hand making him jump. 

"Why, huh? Why him damn it!?" I screamed, hitting the window again until I was pulled away again by the cops.

Olivia fended them off. My blood boiled even more than before as she pushed me away from the vehicle.

"What the he'll is wrong with you." She was surprised yet angry.

The words wouldn't leave my mouth nor form in my head. I ran my fingers through my hair and took a deep breath. I don't know what had come over me, but it shouldn't matter.

"Nick," Olivia tapped my shoulder. 

"What?" I snapped, turning around to see forensics with her. They held empty bags and a small box for collecting evidence. Everything and everyone around me was so hectic. 

"Detective, we are going to need to take your shirt and jacket for evidence. Did your pants get blood on them too?" They asked bluntly. 

I looked down at my clothing. I had noticed before the blood on my hand, but I hadn't noticed I wiped it down my white shirt. 

"Detective?" 

I looked back up to them.

"He'll just hand you his shirt and jacket, sorry." Olivia responded for me.

She moved me back, closer to the warmth of the building, as she tried to help me take off my jacket. I motioned her off and handed to the jacket to them. In return, they handed me a clean white button up to replace the blood-covered one I wore. 

"Would you like go head inside to a bathroom to change." Liv asked. 

I rolled my eyes at her constant coddling of me. 

"No thanks," I spit my words as I began to unbutton my shirt. After the first two buttons she decided to look away. I handed them my shirt and quickly clothed myself with the fresh button-up. 

They stuffed the shirt in their bag, barely trying to properly package the evidence and label the bag as they walk away. 

The freezing temperature of this winter was not affecting me. I would usually be complaining by now. 

Liv's hand on my shoulder hadn't helped. 

"You okay? I know it's a lot right now." she attempted to sooth. 

"I don't need your sympathy. It happened, it's done." I said with my voice almost as cold as the current weather outside.

She sighed, "Nick."

"I have to go." I said to her as I ran my hands through my hair once again, then stepping away.

She grabbed my arm to stop me. 

"If you're thinking of going after Swanson, you're going to get yourself get kicked off the case, if you haven't already." 

"I won't," I jerked my arm back. "Now I said I have to go."

"Nick!" She yelled for me as I walked away.

I just kept walking, ignoring her desperate attempts to get my attention which I ignored. She called my name at least one more time before giving up and walking inside. I walked almost till the end of the block where I parked my car. The second I unlocked it, I was inside and slammed the door aside me. 

I attempted to put the key in the ignition when the keys fell from my hands. I reached and search down at the bottom with my hand. I found them and as I put pick them up, they fall back to the floor. My blood boiled once again.

"Fuck!" I screamed, as I hit the floor steering wheel.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath to calm down. Rafael didn't deserve this. He was the only the one brave enough to step outside no matter what I told him. 

My hands had stopped dripping blood, now they were stained. I could feel the dried blood on my fingers, wrinkling against my skin as my hands gripped the steering wheel.

I reopened my eyes after another long, deep breath. Setting my thoughts aside, I refocused on why I even stepped in my car in the first place.

Grabbing my keys from the bottom, I attempted again then successfully started the car and began driving away, looking to catch up the ambulance or at least to the nearest hospital.

Rafael Barba, I'm coming for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for the long wait and sorry again if it's too short... I've had a difficult few months and I'll try not to make you wait it long for the next chapter (: thank you for reading


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